What You See Isn't What You Get
by Butthead62
Summary: Zoe and her friends think they know what to expect when they join ranks with the goonies on their quest. But when a couple unexpected visitors join the trip and things don't go as planned, NOBODY knows what to expect. Stand By Me/Goonies crossover, 5 OCs
1. A Second Party

Hello, happy people! Anyway, I am writing me and my friends into the story Goonies and twisting the plot. I know that this has been done several times. I'm writing it for fun and it is different enough from the movie that it should (hopefully) be interesting. Please review, flames are accepted, just REVIEW! lol. Enjoy! 

* * *

"Hey!"

"Hey. Happy birthday!" Cady grinned, stepping inside my door.

"Thanks." I grinned and directed her into my room.

I stood in the doorway of my room, gazing at the faces of Cady, Cassie, Callie, and Victoria. "Okay guys, now that everyone's here, what do you wanna do?"

"What movies do you have?" Cassie asked, browsing my movies shelf.

"Ummm, Stand By Me, Goonies, Running on Empty, Little Nikita and Sneakers, Mosquito Coast, To Sir, With Love, Ordinary People, I Love You To Death, Indiana Jones…

"River Phoenix movies..." Cady rolled her eyes.

"How about Indiana Jones?" Victoria suggested. 

"Or Goonies?" Cady inquired.

"Yeah." I agreed.

Victoria shrugged and popped it in the DVD player. "That works too."

As the credits rolled and one of the greatest beginning sequences ever for a kids movie unfolded, (Steven Spielburg- what can I say?) I felt a little regretful that we didn't have popcorn and chips to munch on. Over the next few minutes, this regret multiplied to about a million, and it was all I could do not to go downstairs and get something to eat during this great movie. After all, what's a movie without popcorn? A healthy movie, that's what. Yeah, screw healthy. 

I grabbed the remote and put the movie on pause. "Guys, I'm gonna go pop some corn. Who wants to help? More people, more refreshments."

Everybody followed me.

I opened the door and led everybody out of the room. "Okay guys, the kitchen's this way…" My voice trailed off as I realized that I was in a very dark place. And it looked nothing like the hallway on the second story of my house. I groped around for the light switch, and sure enough, I could not find it.

"Guys, any idea where we are?" I asked, taken-aback.

"How should we know? This is _your_ house." Callie rolled her eyes.

"Well, either I don't know my own house or we're not IN my house. Either way would suck…"

"Hold it guys; we're definitely not in Zoe's house." Cassie declared.

"GREEAT." Victoria said sarcastically.

"There where the hel..ECK are we?" I said, uttering an almost-swear word under the gaze of my non-languagey friends.

When my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I very nearly said a word that was much worse.

I knew where we were now. Or, at least, I thought I knew. I wasn't ruling out the possibility that I was going crazy. And how was I going to break it to everybody else _without_ them thinking just that? "Guys… don't take me to the sanitarium, 'kay? Who here has seen Goonies at least a few times?"

Cady raised her hand, then lowered it slowly as she looked around the room, mouth agape.

"Okay, guys, either I'm crazy or… we're in Mikey's attic." I finally stuttered.

"Wh-hat?" Cady was startled.

"Who's Mikey?" Callie asked, confused.

Victoria hadn't seen Goonies since the 6th grade. Callie and Cassie, I'm not sure.

"Oh holy flying cat crap." I sighed impatiently. Everyone had to snigger at that one. "At the very least we could enter their house through the front door!"

"What?" Everybody looked puzzled.

"Imagine people coming down your stairs, complete STRANGERS for Pete's sake, saying they don't know where the hell you came from." I winced as I didn't catch that swear word the second time around, but nobody seemed to notice.

Suddenly I heard voices and "Listen to me damnit, that's his stuff!"

Mikey's line.

"Guys, hide!" I whispered fiercely. "Or, uh-better yet- leap out the window."

"But then we'd look like holy flying cat crap!" Victoria exclaimed.

"Helleck." Callie rolled her eyes, severely unimpressed by my lack of swear words.

"Guys, just…"

Too late. I was now staring at Mouth's eager face.

My face fell. "Uh… would you believe us if we said we have no idea how we got up here?"

"Uh… no." Mouth was speechless for once.

"Well, look. That's exactly what happened. And if you didn't see any suspicious people- aka us- come up here, then how could you not?" Sheesh! Sass, sass. Didn't know I had it in me.

Data and Chunk came up before I was finished. They just stared at us without comment. When Mikey finally came up, I was frowning defensively at Mouth, inwardly wondering where the hell all this ego was coming from.

"Uh… who are you guys?" Mikey asked.

"Will names do?" I asked foolishly.

"No, we need background checks, police records, census records…"

"We get the point." Callie said, cocking an eyebrow at Mouth.

"Well anyway," I said, rolling my eyes, "I'm Zoe." I was secretly relieved not to hear the 'Zoey 101' connection, even though me and the star shared birthdays. But Zoey 101 didn't exist back then.

Mouth scoffed. "What a weird name."

"And what of yours, MOUTH?" I shot back before I could stop myself.

_Oh shit. Now what? He would ask how the hell I knew his name. I had to think fast._

He stared at me with wide eyes. "How do you know my name?"

"Uhhh… I... heard somebody shout it before you came up the stairs." I said, coming up with the first and most sensible thing that came into my mind. I tried to look calm while my insides squirmed. _Had_ they shouted his name on the stairs?

"I'm Cady." Cady said, breaking the short silence. Good. That gave them little time to confront my cover.

"Victoria."

"Callie."

"And Cassie."

"Cool, guys." Mikey took a breath of his inhaler. "Do you guys… um… want anything to eat?"

"I don't." I said. Nobody argued with me.

"So, what were you guys doing?" I asked, even though I knew very well what.

"Looking for company." Mouth said sarcastically.

I shot him a warning glance, telling him I didn't want any of his lip. It was quite true, after all. I had to clamp my mouth down hard to make sure I didn't reveal their cause myself. Best if they didn't know I'm a witch who lives on the existence of tarot cards.

Joking, of course.

"We were going to look for treasure in Mikey's attic."

"CHUNK!!" Everybody shouted in unison.

Callie and Cassie snickered. It sounded pretty retarded to them, because they had never seen the movie. It sounded completely retarded to me after watching the movie a million zillion times.

"We were bored and decided to go up to Mikey's attic just to see what we'd find." Mouth said sheepishly. "Chunk here, inventing tall tales…" he gritted his teeth and glared at Chunk.

Chunk looked puzzled. "But… just a minute ago you ran up here yelling that we'd find rich stuff."

I sniggered at the lividness on Mouth's face. Busted, Mouth.

"Well… you guys can look around, if you like…" Mikey invited, clearly still confused over our presence. Who could blame him?

I didn't really find anything of interest in the attic, so I just kind of stood out of the way while everybody else browsed. When I found that Callie was also alone, (and rolling her eyes) I walked over to her.

"Well… what do you think?"

"What do I think? About what?"

"Ending up here. Some hell of a world, huh?"

"You mean 'helleck?'" She snickered.

"Hey, this may be more fun than it seems." I said.

"REEALLY?" She asked with mock interest.

I sighed, then perked up at a sudden thought.

"So- which one of the guys do you think is cute?" I asked.

She scoffed. "Grow up."

"OOO-kay…"

She smirked, and said "So, which one of the guys do YOU think is cute?"

"None of them." I smirked at her look of dismay. "Now… which one do you…" 

"Mouth is kind of cute… I said KIND of…" Callie said quickly, seeing at the look on my face. "Not that I like him or anything, but he could be, like, really cute if he were 2 years older…"

At the sound of glass breaking, Callie immediately stopped talking. We both rushed over to take a look at the map that Mikey was now holding.


	2. From Castle Rock

I forgot to say last chapter, the foreclosure doesn't exist. The boys are just bored and want a little excitement. So, there's no pressure. 

Disclaimer: Don't own the Goonies, don't own the Outsiders (a small mention in this chapter) 

* * *

When we went downstairs to begin the quest for One-Eyed Willy, Mouth was still grumbling about letting us go along.

"My friends might be interested in this, too." Mikey piped up suddenly.

"Sure, like, who doesn't dig SKELETONS?" Victoria inquired sarcastically.

I caught Mouth shooting a sideways grin at her.

"So… who ARE your friends, Mikey?" I asked, out of curiosity.

"Not you." Mouth shot at me. I rolled my eyes.

"Chris Chambers, Gordie Lachance, Teddy Duchamp, and Vern Tessio. Vern stayed in Castle Rock, his hometown, for fall break, but everybody else is here in Astoria."

I nearly choked on my windpipe as I exchanged startled glances with Victoria. Now, unlike everybody else, she was the only one who knew what I was talking about.

"C-cool." I stuttered. 

* * *

Ironically, we met them walking on the way to the Lighthouse Lounge. We had decided to walk because there obviously weren't enough bikes to tide us over. When 3 silhouettes came into view, my heart began beating faster. I clutched my notebook to my chest. I didn't even realize that I was carrying it before.

"Okay guys, these are my friends. Gordie, Chris, Teddy." Mikey introduced the boys. "Vern couldn't come; his family stayed in Castle Rock for fall break."

Callie edged closer to me. "Remember what I said earlier about Mouth? T-that one- Teddy- looks just like I described him!"

I grinned at her. "Good luck."

"What?"

"In getting him." 

* * *

As we continued, I noticed Mikey and Cady chatting happily. Cassie and Victoria were talking to each other. Relieved to find Callie still alone, I walked over to her.

"Hey Dally… Callie! Sorry, honest mistake, I swear!" I said sheepishly.

She raised an eyebrow.

"RememberThe Outsiders?"

"Nope."

"Hahahaha…hahaha…Remember Teddy?" I added in a whisper.

"Zoe… you need help."

"Hey! Who's the birthday girl here?" I grinned.

"Oh, come on! It's too late to use that excuse!" Callie groaned.

"Hey guys, what's up?" Cassie joined us.

"Nothing." I said quite truthfully.

"You can say that again… Don't." Callie added quickly.

I smirked. "Ah, Callie, you know me too well."

I sighed and opened my notebook. "Hmmm… now what to write about?" I murmured to myself. "Wait a minute… Everything! God, look around for Pete's sakes! How could I be so stupid and unobservant and ignorant…" I began scribbling furiously.

Callie just stared. "We'll never know what's going on in_ her_ mind."

"Mmmm-hmmm…hahahaha…MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! YOU'VE JUST MET YOUR DOOM'S DAY!" I said loudly, cackling and scribbling all over a page I found excruciatingly embarrassing.

Of course, destruction of my work is as useful to me as a cup of brandy. A very soothing effect. How mature.

Everybody stopped and stared at me. My face colored slightly. "Sorry."

Cady rolled her eyes. "She's weird. She gets like that when she's writing."

I mumbled something and went back to scribbling in my notebook. When I was satisfied with some particularly good work, I shut my notebook and began humming softly the tune to 'To Sir, With Love,' clutching the notebook tightly to my chest. Cady, Mikey, Victoria, Mouth, Chunk, Data, and Teddy were all preoccupied with something of some sort. Cassie, Callie, Chris, Gordie, and I were walking in silence. Presently Cassie went over to talk to Data.

I was humming the tune to 'Stand By Me,' feeling numb, as always when I do a lot of writing at a time. I was slightly melancholy. When my notebook was snatched out of my grasp, I hardly gave a damn.

"C'mon Callie, give it back."

She shrugged and tossed it back to me. "Just wanted to see your reaction. This is boring as hell."

I sighed. "I'm beginning to agree. Oh well. At least I have my notebook!" I began to cheer up at the thought.

"You're always writing! Don't you ever get sick of it?"

"Yes, actually, lots of times. About once a month, actually. And then I can't really write. So I'm moody until I can again. What about you? Have you drawn anything lately?"

"Yeah. I started on something _yesterday_." She said darkly, transmitting the knowledge that she couldn't work on it for a while now.

"Do you have a sketch book with you?"

"Nope."

"Here… I'll give you some paper from my notebook. It's lined, but it'll keep you preoccupied. I can't imagine what'd happen if I didn't have my notebook." I laughed.

She stared. "You are so weird."

"Yeah, but we're all weird in our own way, aren't we? Otherwise, there'd be no such thing as individuality."

"Talk in English, please."

"In other words, everybody's weird."

"Yeah, but you're… weird weird."

"So are you."

"You're missing my point."

"Well, I'm weird to you, you're weird to me, and this situation is weird to _both_ of us." I said, changing the subject.

"You got that right."

"So…" I lowered my voice. "What do you say we talk to those two guys over there? I don't know about you, but I'm thoroughly bored."

"I'm just bored."

"Come on! Admit you're bored!"

"All right. I am SOOO fucking bored!"

"Now you're talking!"

"No, you are."

I rolled my eyes and grabbed her arm. "Come ON!"

Then, halfway there, I lost my nerve.

"Uhhh… you say something when we get there."

"No way! You know how I get around boys!"

I sighed. "Fine. But come with me."

"What-ever."

"LOL!" I said out loud.

"Uh… that was weird."

"I know. But technically it's a word…"

"Just shut up and go."

Now… what was I going to say? I was horrible at conversation starters.

We approached Chris and Gordie. "Uhhh… hi."

"Hi?"

Great. I was soooo crappy at this. Wait a minute- tell the truth! Yeah- that's it.

"We were over there and incredibly bored after talking to each other for like, an hour…"

Callie elbowed me.

"And… apparently… I said the wrong thing as informed by Callie the Mute here…" I said from lack of anything else.

"My name's Callie." Callie spoke up before I could cause her any more embarrassment. "Zoe is weird."

"Yeah. I'm weird. That's the big, deep, dark secret about me and it's not very hard to find out."

"Zoe talks to herself. Zoe uses big words. Zoe is smart. Zoe is WEIRD."

I turned to her. "Shut UP!"

"What?" She looked puzzled.

"See? Callie, here, is weird too." I said, quickly changing the subject. "And I personally don't have a problem with intellectual eccentricity… ooo! Two big words! Yay me!"

"So…" I whirled around to face Chris, who had spoken. "You were bored and came over here to…"

"Talk. I'm afraid I'm not very socially inclined. I suck at conversation starters."

Well, the truth is probably the next best thing to something completely natural, at least.

"So… what TV shows do you like?" I inquired. Ah, better. Much, much better.

"My favorite show is 'Have Gun Will Travel.'

"I like 'Wagon Train.'" Gordie replied simply.

"Well… I haven't seen either of those but I have seen Gunsmoke. Only one episode, though. But I liked it. It's probably my favorite TV show now. It reminds me of those old John Wayne movies."

After a few more minutes, Gordie and Callie walked away, leaving me and Chris.

"Have you seen the movie Giant? That is one of my favorite movies ever… James Dean is so cool." I declared.

"I've only seen one James Dean movie, and that was Rebel Without A Cause."

"Ooo, yeah!" I said excitedly. "With Sal Mineo and Jim Backus, right? I love that film. Natalie Wood was only like 16 when she filmed it. Of course, that's nothing compared to how young she was in Miracle on 34th Street. Oh shit, I'm rambling, aren't I? I'm quite subject to that when I get excited. Ever heard of the Del Vikings?"

"Yeah."

"I LOVE the song "Whispering Bells." What other songs do you like?"

"Um… Buddy Holly songs."

"Hmmm. I think my favorite band is the Four Seasons. And Queen. I LOVE Queen! "Bohemian Rhapsody" is one of my favorite songs. I used to like the Beach Boys, but I listened to their C-record," I winced at my momentary slip-up. "all the way through one night and most of the songs were too annoying. I like "I Get Around," though. And all of my friends think I am crazy for this, but I don't like the Beatles. I only like "Hey Jude." I have listened to a few John Lennon solo songs, and I DO like those. Any other Beatles songs besides "Hey Jude" though- pfft." I made a swift motion with my hand. "But what about you? Any other songs?"

He grinned. "I like the song 'Hey Jude.' I don't really like hard rock, so I mostly don't like Queen, either. I like 'Bohemian Rhapsody,' though."

I nodded. "It's a great song. Classic. The UK rated it their #1 favorite pop song. It's so sad at the beginning! Maybe that's why I like it. Don't ask me why, but I love to cry and I love angsty stuff. And it's not really hard rock. But oh, that guitarist is great, AND he has the coolest hair. He's my favorite, besides Freddie Mercury, of course. What I wouldn't do to be able to see them live…" I stared dreamily off into space. "So… do you have a hobby?"

"Um… no."

"Really?" I asked incredulously. "What do you do in your spare time?"

He shrugged. "Hang out with my friends."

I nodded. "That's cool."

"So you write?"

"Yeah. I carry around a couple million notebooks with me all day." I rolled my eyes. "Most of it's just drabble right now. I'm at a silent period. I can't wait to get out of it. I'm always moody when I can't write."

When I looked ahead, I saw the slightly ominous shadow of the Lighthouse Lounge.

"Hey guys, let's go in." Mikey said, much to the anxiety of the others.

I turned to Chris and grinned. "See ya around." Then I skipped up with the others, a slight grin on my face. I was going to show this silly Mama Fratelli a lesson, and ooo boy, would it be fun!


	3. Be A Beacon

Disclaimer: Don't own The Goonies. Something very similar to a dialogue in Sneakers in here.

* * *

When we were inside the Lighthouse Lounge, Mouth of course had to comment.

"This is a summer restaurant? Looks like this place hasn't been open for 10 summers."

I had to agree. The place was pretty filthy.

"What are you people doing here?"

We all spun around to face Mama Fratelli. She was even more of a hag in person.

"We're… uh… thirsty."

Followed by everyone muttering that they wanted water.

"Twelve waters. Is that all?"

"Yes!" Everybody shouted in relief.

"No!" Mouth pushed himself forward. "I want a veal-a-scallopino. A bottle of fettucine, a-1981." He kissed his fingers.

It was hard to keep myself from snickering. I didn't know that they packaged pasta in bottles.

Mama Fratelli grabbed him and held him by his head, pulling out a knife.

"The only place we serve in this place is tongue. Anyone like tongue?"

Mouth squirmed and yelped as she held the knife against his tongue.

Everybody shook their heads no, holding their tongues and looking terrified. Most of them, anyway. What a Weird Wacko Woman.

When she released Mouth, he was looking pretty shaken.

Mama Fratelli directed us to a table, and everybody fell into chairs when she yelled menacingly "Sit down!" Chunk, very ideally, missed the chair. When he started telling us about the bullet holes in the ORV, I rolled my eyes. Sure, I knew it was true, but the way Chunk told it was always hard to believe.

"Seriously Chunk, I'm starting to OD on your bullshit stories." Mouth rolled his eyes.

"I'm starting to OD on that old hag. Tell me if she gets back so I can kill myself." I declared.

"SHUT UP!" Everybody yelled frantically, looking around to see if Mama Fratelli was out of earshot.

Not 6 seconds later, (Whew!) she slammed down 12… amber looking glasses on the table. There was no way of knowing the origins of the substance inside, and I was definitely not going to drink it.

"Water? You call this water?" Mouth asked. He seemed to have recovered from the tongue trauma quite quickly.

"It's wet, ain't it? DRINK it!" Everybody jumped.

"What-EVER." I mumbled.

"What'd you say?" Weird Wacko Woman glared at me. Everybody froze, staring at us.

"Oh, nothing of importance." I smiled sweetly.

Everybody breathed again (except for me, who was breathing the whole time) when Mama Fratelli chose to ignore me. 

"Ma'am, do you know where the men's room is?" Mikey asked.

"Can't you hold it?" Mama Fratelli rasped.

"No!" Mikey squirmed.

"Mikey, this ain't the type of place you wanna go to the bathroom in." Chunk declared.

"Why?" Mama Fratelli demanded.

"Because they've got granddaddy long legs in them!" Chunk stated,staring up at Mama Fratelli with terrified eyes.

I shivered at the thought. I was afraid of few things. One of those few things happened to be spiders.

Especially granddaddy long legs.

Even though they were allegedly harmless.

30 seconds after Mikey left, the whole group started freaking out. I know because I was counting the seconds along with everybody else.

I rolled my eyes. "He's only been gone for half a minute, guys. THIRTY SECONDS."

"Now a minute." Chunk shivered, eyes glued to his watch.

"We should go down after him."

"Yeah."

"No way! That would get the old lady suspicious." I declared.

"Fine, we'll send someone down."

They started whispering to each other, then pointed at me.

"You." They said in unison.

"Okay." I got up and headed after Mikey nonchalantly. When I didn't find him, I began to feel a little freaked out. This didn't happen in the movie… I walked to the end of the hallway and saw Jake singing to Sloth. I winced at the sound of his voice. I turned around when my foot stepped on something and crunched.

All was silent. Jake's eyes were on me.

I began talking immediately. "Dude, you sound good from a distance, but seriously, that's about 2 keys too flat. Try learning perfect pitch. Oh, and take it easy on that poor guy. He obviously doesn't like opera."

Sloth blinked at me. "Sloth don't like opera!" He shouted.

Jake's eyes narrowed. "That's enough, kid. The jig's up."

He was just about to yell to dear little Mama Fratelli. Shit! I was desperate.

"No." I said the first thing that came to mind.

He stared at me.

"If you give me away…"

_what? What?_

"right now…"

_Shit!_

"I'll tell your mom what you did to Francis to make him wear a toupee." The words scrambled quickly out of my mouth as I thought of them.

He stared incredulously at me. "H-how…"

Bingo.

"I'm a private detective. I know everything about you, Jake Fratelli. I know that if you do one more wrong thing your mother will likely bludgeon you with a sledgehammer and get Alice Cooper to autograph it in blood." How I was able to say that last bit with a straight face will forever be a mystery to me.

"You're a detective?" He looked suspicious. "You're just a kid."

I shrugged. "That makes it only easier to work undercover."

"Who hired you?"

"Your mother. She was suspicious and wanted proof for Francis's enbaldenment so she hired me. Now I know you're on your last thread with her. But it's not too late. Don't tell her about me; she'd only kill you."

Jake looked very upset.

"But take mercy on the old lady. Her years are slowly… slowly… coming to an end. She suffers in pain. Jake, she is lonely and that is why she is always mean and cranky. Especially to you. Really, truly, deep down, she cares about you. Be a beacon in her sad and lonely life. Can you do that, Jake?"

He nodded slowly, deep in thought.

I smiled. "Good."

Then, I turned on my heel and walked, and once I was sure I was out of his eyesight I put a hand on my heart and breathed hard.

"Zoe?"

My eyes shot up to find Chris standing in front of me.

"Wha- what are you doing down here?"

"They sent me down about 30 seconds after you went." He rolled his eyes. "They're so gullible."

"Yeah." I agreed. "The only things I'm afraid of in here are the insects. I HATE spiders."

"Where's Mikey?"

"SHIT!"

"You haven't seen him?"

"Nope."

"Guys, guys!" Cady ran into view, looking quite concerned. "Where's Mikey?"

I would've laughed had the circumstances been different. 

"We don't know." Chris said.

"And the plot thickens," I muttered. "Where are the others?"

"Chunk went to the police."

I smacked myself in the forehead. "GREAT! You know, they'll never believe him."

"Cassie, Gordie, and Data went with him." Cady added.

I sighed audibly with relief. "And everybody else?"

"Callie, Teddy, and Mouth are still up there. Victoria… we don't know what happened to her."

I swore very loudly.

Chris sighed. "Well, let's go back up there."

Cady led the way as me and Chris scrambled on behind her. When we got back to the table and I only saw 2 people, I began to feel concerned. 

I got to the table. Where was Mouth?_ Oh… my… god… everybody… disappearing…_ I turned around and seethed quietly for a couple seconds. Then, I whirled around to face everybody, dangerously calm.

"Does anybody… know… where… Mouth is?" I asked through gritted teeth.

"Nope."

Everybody jumped when a large BANG erupted from the kitchen.

Footsteps.

"Guys, we have to get out of here!" I said frantically. "We can come back after they leave. Otherwise, we can't exactly look for them, anyway!"

"No. We're not leaving. We'll just have to do our best." Cady determined.

At the next set of footsteps we all leapt toward the nearest closet and piled in. Needless to say, it was cramped.

Very cramped.

I winced a bit when I ended up in-between Teddy and Cady. Why not Chris? Oh well. Just my luck.

* * *

So do you want me to continue it? Please review!


	4. Author's Note

Author's Note:

Hello happy people, I know you all are reading this story! So please, PLEASE review and I just might continue it!

Reviewers are rewarded with double chocolate chip cookies!


	5. Dispersed

To my first 2 reviewers... THANK YOU SO MUCH for taking the time to R and R. Other people who might be reading this right now- please review! I am happy to present the next chapter of this story!

* * *

Victoria's POV

* * *

This is a little different from the movie, and I am relieved. Pirates? Treasure? Give me a break. Pirate treasure? Give me a knife.

We're stuck on some little adventure, though. I'm walking through a tunnel. And guess who my companion is?

Mouth.

Yeah, I'm just SOOOO happy. I LOVE telling him to shut up every 10 seconds.

Anybody else. Data, Mikey, Gordie, even Chunk. ANYBODY but HIM!

"So yeah, Chunk has to do the Truffle Shuffle every time before he comes into Mikey's house. I know it's mean, but COME ON! It's so hilarious!"

"Shut up."

"So yeah, Brand didn't get his drivers license. He's 16 and he flunked his drivers test! What a hoot!"

"Shut up."_ God, he's SOOO annoying!_

"So yeah, Mikey was SOOO livid when I popped the tires on Brand's car. Did I tell you…"

"Shut up." I climbed over a pile of rocks.

"Is that all you say? Shut up?"

"What about you, Mr. 'So Yeah'?" I said, putting huge emphasis on the last two words. Man, was he annoying!

"Oh… yeah…" he said sheepishly.

* * *

Mikey's POV

This is it… I'm gonna find his rich stuff…

* * *

Cassie's POV

* * *

Chunk is so annoying. God, what a bore. It seems that all he and Data do is fight over whether Data is really Double-O-7 or Double-O-Negative. I haven't seen James Bond either way. I have no idea what either of them are talking about. I just wish they would both shut up.

Well, actually, I was stuck in the middle here. There were the 2 boys who needed to shut up, of course.

But I was also stuck with the tall skinny boy that had hardly said a word since he joined us.

He wasn't even talking now, he was just… walking. I wasn't willing to open my trap either, after hearing Chunk talk so much. So now, I just looked around and observed my surroundings.

The sounds of Chunk's voice slipped slowly out of my hearing. Slowly, his jabber became inaudible, and finally faded out altogether. I was lost in the world of nature.

* * *

Callie's POV

* * *

Teddy's crazy. Okay, but he's cute. And outgoing. Funny how he and Mouth can look so much alike, yet Teddy's so much more mature. Yeah, I wish we could have some time alone, but right now we're stuck with Zoe, (who still won't tell me who she likes) Cady, and Chris. God, why can't they just get lost like the others? Kidding, of course.

* * *

Zoe's POV

* * *

I was slightly apprehensive as the 5 of us stood cramped inside a closet and watched the Fratellis leave. There was only one window and we still had to keep pressed as closely to the walls as possibly to avoid being seen.

I could hear every word they were saying, but it made very little sense. I had seen the movie a million times, but everything was so different now that I was not willing to jump to conclusions anymore. They were putting something in the car. The churning feeling in my stomach told me that I did not want to know what it was.

When they finally drove off, I released a breath I didn't even know that I was holding. Callie, who was right next to the closet door, opened it and let us out.

When I started breathing regularly again, the reason we were here came flooding back to me.

"So guys- where do you think they are?" Cady asked, as if reading my thoughts.

Callie rolled her eyes. She still wasn't that involved. Probably wanted to take time out to be with the guy of her dreams.

"Well, Mikey was last seen at in that hallway, yeah?" I pulled out my notebook, found a blank page, and made a note of that.

Teddy snickered.

I looked up and frowned at him. "What?"

"You look like that one girl- Nancy Drew."

I smirked. "No way. I don't have the titian hair. ANYWAY, does anybody remember _anything_ about the disappearances of Victoria and Mouth?"

"Uh… no."

I frowned. "Chris… exempt. He was in down in the hallway. Me- exempt. Cady? When did you go down?"

Ummm… about 30 seconds after Chris went down there to check on you."

I rolled my eyes. "Gosh, of ALL the things that can happen in 30 seconds… Cady… exempt. Everybody else? Remember anything?"

I stared at Callie and Teddy.

"Ummm… wait!" Callie said suddenly. "Victoria said she was going to get a drink, see if she could find some _real_ water."

I snickered. "I don't blame her. Thanks, anyway. Anything about Mouth?"

She shrugged as I wrote down another clue in my notebook. After a couple minutes, I closed it. "Okay guys. Let's look around."

The only possible entrance we could find was the hall. Unless we were missing something, everybody who disappeared was at least in this hall.

"Hey guys, look!" Cady said suddenly.

Callie was the second on the scene. "Yeah… so?"

I rushed over and nearly whooped in excitement.

Inside the room was a large water container. This had to be where Victoria was!

Unsurprisingly, the room was empty when we walked in. I walked over to the water tank. Sure enough, there was an empty plastic cup next to it, confirming the fact that Victoria had been there.

I looked around the room and my eyes lingered on a door. I walked over to it, heart pounding, and yanked it open.

When I saw that it was merely a freezer full of ice cream, I sighed in disappointment.

"Zoe! Watch out!"

I looked up, and to my terror, the stiff towered over me. The stiff that I had forgotten about. _God, of all things, why did THAT have to stay?_

While I was too creeped out to do the fist thing that came to mind, I immediately did the second, slamming the door shut and screaming "What the hell WAS that?"

"A dead body." Cady was petrified.

"Did you see that bullet mark on his forehead? The Fratellis must've shot him!"

"Then_he_ was the fed they were talking about…" I mused.

"He was a FED?" Callie shrieked.

"Shhh!" Cady warned.

"Look!" Chris said suddenly.

I followed his gaze.

There were large red spots on the floor that looked like footprints.

Red… as in blood?

Cady ran forward to take a closer look.

_WHAM!_ She slipped and fell backward, landing flat on her back.

"Haha- I fool you guys! Bye bye Fratellis!"

"Data?" I asked dubiously.

"Who… who's there?" The voice sounded suspicious.

"It's US, Data! It's US!" Teddy said, aggravated.

"Oh." The disappointed voice matched the boy who stepped out of the shadows. "Sorry, guys."

"Tell that to Cady." I said.

Cady was now sitting up, looking very irritated.

"S… sorry, Cady."

She groaned. "What WAS that?"

"Slick shoes." Data looked quite proud of myself.

"Actually I meant the blood."

"Fake. You know, to lure the Fratellis in and WHAM!" Data slapped his palms together, grinning mischievously from ear to ear.

"Well ANYWAY, I'm glad you're all… wait a minute." I glared at Cady suspiciously. "I thought you said that Data went with Chunk, Gordie and Cassie to go to the police.

"You know?… I made that up." She grinned anxiously. Seeing the livid look on my face, she quickly added "Well, two people had already disappeared! I thought you'd have a fit!"

"And then Mouth disappeared…" I snapped my fingers, getting a thought. "Right. Data? Did you see Victoria or Mouth, for that matter, go anywhere in here?"

"Well…" Data mused. "Victoria went in here, and told me not to follow her."

"And… you did."

"Only after 30 seconds!"

"30… seconds… why is it always…" I groaned. "Anyway, do you know where she went from here?"

He shook his head. "No."

"Well, we have to go after her, then… Oh, shit!" I slapped my forehead. "The oil! Data, how much oil did you put?"

He beamed. "All over the floor."

I sighed. "We'll never get past it!"

His smile faded. "Oh, yeah…"

"And for that matter, you've trapped yourself in. Any inventions that will get us across, Data?"

Data mused. "Well, I have my Pinchers of Peril…"

Chris shook his head. "No, that won't work. There's no safe way to walk on oil. Especially since it's all over that half of the room."

Data hung his head.

"Unless we were somehow to increase the friction… but it's oil…" I mused. "That's impossible… Well, it looks like you're stuck here, Data." I declared. "Momentarily."

"Pfft. This is great. What if we _never_ find them?"

"Let's look for more rooms." Chris suggested.

"Good idea. Data, keep looking around for an opening. Holler if you find one." I ducked out of the room.

"Wait!" I cried suddenly, remembering something and turning around. "Don't holler. In case the Fratellis come back, DO NOT yell. Just go after her... if you can..." I dashed out of the room again to catch up to the others.

When I reached them, they were standing stock-still. Cady shook her head.

"No other doors? No other openings?" I was desperate.

"Nope."

"Shit. That means everybody went in that fucking room and fucking disappeared…" My voice trailed off as I saw Cady shoot me a less-than-pleased glance. Oh yeah, she didn't like that word.

"_Friggin_' disappeared. So what are we… what about Chunk and Gordie and Cassie? They went to the police! Let's catch up with them and see if they have any idea where they disappeared!"

Everybody looked at me doubtfully.

"But… we have no idea where they are."

"Well, who knows where the police station is?"

No one moved.

"Uhhh… anyone?"

"In case you haven't noticed," Cady said sarcastically. "No one here _lives_ in Astoria."

My face fell. "Right…"

"But if the town is small enough, we could probably find it after walking around enough." I proposed. "It's better than sticking around here and finding nothing, anyway."

"That it is."

"So should we do it?" I asked hopefully.

"Yeah," from Chris.

"I guess," from Cady.

"Whatever," from Callie. I rolled my eyes as she and Teddy exchanged grins.


	6. Spazztic Serenity

**Hi guys. Yes, this butthead finally decided to post after a year. These two chapters have been sitting on their asses for years now.**

**Sincerely,**

**Butthead.**

**(Since I am fully deserving of this nickname. Formerly- Calibezein. Plus, I don't really like this story's quality- it's just fun to write.) :D**

Cady's POV:

Yeah, well, I knew Zoe was not too keen on wearing her platform shoes now. If she wasn't complaining now, she would be soon. Well, slipping on oil doesn't exactly feel like a bubble bath and right now, I was stumbling all over the place.

Finally, I fell over what I guessed to be a rock. When pain began in my back for the second time that day… let's just say that me and pain aren't close companions.

"URGH!!!" Stupid, STUPID, rock…

"Are you okay?" Chris stood over me, smirking slightly.

"Oy! What are you doing on the ground, Cady?" Zoe walked onto the scene.

I glared at her. "Relishing the pain."

Zoe looked mock-surprised. "Well, it was an honest question."

"I slip on a patch of oil, I fall on my back. I step in a hole and hurt my ankle. I trip over a rock. I fall on my back! Do you think that I LIKE falling and hurting on my back?"

Zoe counted her fingers, gazing off into space. "Hmmm. Back, foot, back. Which one does not belong?"

"URGH! … gah… STOP BEING SO MEAN!!!"

"Gosh, Cady, relax, relax. I'm only messing with 'ya you know. Need a hand?" She held out a hand. I grabbed it and pulled myself up.

The others, as I discovered now, didn't even bother to stop. Not that I needed to look to see that.

Zoe cupped her hand around her mouth and shouted. "Oy! Callie! Teddy! Wait up!" Then she ran after them.

I was fairly surprised that Zoe wasn't spending more time talking to Chris. It seemed she never stopped talking to ME about River Phoenix. Ya know? So I was going to play matchmaker now, just so she would shut up and stay shut up in the future.

"So… what do you think of Zoe?" I asked Chris.

"Ummm…" He looked startled. I couldn't blame him. It was totally out of the blue. "I… guess she's okay."

Good. Not that I care.

Zoe's POV:

We were walking around the town, and could not find that god damn police station. How hard is it supposed to be to find? Unless a huge whirlwind came and swept it up, of course. Which, hopefully didn't happen.

So we were all bored. And none of us knew how it happened or when it happened, but eventually we were all singing at the top of our lungs. As soon as we had finished _'I Ran All The Way Home,' _everybody was hesitant about picking something to sing next.

"_Hey, Jude."_ I started.

"_Don't make it bad."_ Everybody picked up. Except for Cady, that is, who didn't know the song. Callie didn't either, but picked up on the tune soon enough.

"_Take a sad song, and make it better._

_Remember to let her into your heart_

_Then you can start to make it better._

_And anytime you feel the pain_

_Hey Jude, refrain_

_Don't carry the world upon your shoulders."_

"_Na na na na na na na na na!"_ I screeched the notes, laughing. The one plus to singing for fun was that you could do it off-key. And I really didn't give a damn about how I sounded right now. Now if I were in New York, singing on Broadway… that might've been different.

But I was with my friends. And this wasn't Broadway.

So screech I did.

"Hey Callie, take the solo!" I screamed over everybody else.

"_Hey Jude,"_ she sang.

"_Don't be afraid._

_You were made to go out and get her_

_The minute you let her under your skin_

_Then you begin to make it better."_

I cheered loudly as we picked up.

"Sing, Zoe!" Callie yelled.

"_Hey, Jude."_ I smiled through my words. This was my favorite verse.

"_Don't let me down._

_You have found her, now go and get her._

_Remember to let her into your heart_

_Then you can start to make it better."_

And as everybody joined me in the refrain, I felt a rush of the greatest happiness I had felt in months. Not my spazzed-out, excited eccentric happiness when I started talking about Queen. But the feeling of serenity by experiencing the simplest and most natural entertainment that exists in the world. Ah, the wonders of being a kid. Now that was the corniest thing to come out of my head in a long time. Damn was it fun to be a fool.

Through my happiness, I even dared to sneak a glance at Chris and smile at him. The shyness I might've felt toward him before was all gone now. He caught my unreserved gaze and smiled back as we finished the song.


End file.
